Teale
Hey, guys. So Figs and I have been together for a long time. You know, a little too long, some would say. Over the years, sometimes Figs thinks that an experience that I've had is actually his experience. He forgets.

Figs
That's true.

Teale
He forgets.

Figs
Sometimes you tell me you've done stuff and I think I've done it.

Teale
Exactly. Exactly. Our kids are attesting to this.

Figs
By the way, we're driving to the north shore of Oahu right now. We've got two kids in the back. So, forgive me, I'm watching the road while Teale irresponsibly starts video recording.

Teale
Yeah, because I think we've got a bet to settle here. I actually came up with a great analogy, which I fondly referred to as the Rooster and the Chickie. By the way, I just want to point out this is the Dole plantation with the largest pineapple maze in the world.

Figs
Show them the Dole plantation.

Teale
Okay. Well, there is a.

Figs
Lot of people don't get to see-

Teale
This is the Dole plantation. Okay. There's a lot of cool things in Hawaii. Okay. Dole plantations’ like not the only cool thing, but there is a

Figs
There’s a cool maze.

Teale
There's a cool maze.

Figs
That's what makes the Dole planation worthwhile.

Teale
Yeah. And right now, you're going to be like, “Well, let me tell you about this maze,”

Figs
No, go on.

Teale
Because actually, I found it. Okay. So anyway, rooster and cookie analogy, here's how it goes. On the outside, we typically — Figs and I, maybe you and your sweetie, our two frigging kids with each other cause they're, like, at each other's throats all the time —

Figs
They look like a rooster, right? We look like roosters.

Teale
Threatening.

00:02:27:00
Figs
Threatening. We fluff up our feathers and peck, peck and poke, poke and rooster around. And that's what we show each other in love and relationship sometimes when we're hurting. Now, of course, we don't get to see that inside there is a little chickie. Peep peep! I want to be enough for you. Peep peep! I want to be important to you. Right? All we show is that Ack! Ack! “You didn't get that right. You were late again!” or “Pssht, you never prioritize me” or “I’m never enough for you.”

Teale
Or just silence.

Figs
Yeah.

Teale
Figs is that kind of rooster that, like, pecking, kind of rooster. So anyway, I came up with this and I use this with my clients and my consults frequently. Figs actually believes that he came up with this.

Figs
What do you mean, I believe I came up with it. I did come up with it. Like, I come up with all the analogies.

Teale
This is sad.

Figs
But no, look here I actually just the reason to start recording, I was just saying, hey, do you want to know what the birth of the rooster chick analogy is? Like, what the origin story is? And Teale was like, “What are you talking about? I came up with that” and I'm like, “Ah, for flip’s sake.” But let me tell you, the made up — I'm totally just making it up, Teale’s right — But here's the made up way that the rooster chick analogy came about is one of our interns at the time, like associates who were training, was asking me about how to come up with analogies. And I was saying, listen, you just got to know the work so well that the analogies just come to you. They just emerge in the conversation with the client or in the conversation when, you know, we do a podcast interview, it just becomes really clear — This is the analogy that's right for the moment. And I then said, look, like take this for an example off the top of my head, I came up with the “you look like a rooster on the outside, but you're really a little chick on the inside.” And then I, you know, acted out the cycle when I'm a little chicken, like my little chicken side is all threatened feeling not loved I turn into a rooster to protect myself. And of course my rooster pecks at the wounds of the little chick inside Teale, my love. And so that her little chick is hurting. So she turns into her rooster, which is a very nasty, very nasty rooster indeed. And so which, of course, threatens my little chick even more. And on and on. And on we go. Now Just crazy making it up that I came up with that. But there you go. There's my origin story. And Teale’s just came to her —

Teale
No. It was the same way. It was like, Oh.

Figs
There you go.

Teale
It was the gestalt it wasn't with an intern, actually, it was with this other couple.

Figs
Well, by the way. But let me say something like, look, if you're going to be — and it’s going to sound obnoxious — if you're going to be a teacher of people, one of the things you have to come to terms with is that your students — Oh my god, I’m gonna get killed — are going to take

Teale
You need to stop.

Figs
Everything from you and then they're going to discard you as if you gave them nothing because everything you gave them, they now believe is their own and you meant nothing to them. And so this is a great case and point that you gotta actually take pride when your student believes that what you taught them is theirs and theirs alone.

Teale
I’ll tell you what.

Figs
My job is done here.

Teale
Here. I'll give you something right now.

Figs
I did? Oh, this one. You're actually admitting that I came up with that.

Teale
I am. I'm giving it. I'm giving this to you. But you know what?

Figs
Oh, you're giving it to me, I love this.

Teale
Every other one is mine and I'm the teacher. And you take it and you know, that's okay, because you're my student. Love you.

Figs
Well, I am your student. Hey, show ‘em the ocean straight ahead.

00:06:20:08
Teale
Figs is really excited about like — I don’t feel like you guys can see properly, but you can feel it up there. Okay.

Figs
The waves look so good. Bye!

Teale
Bye!

Figs
I’m tryna not crash.

Teale
Good. Let’s not crash.