Figs & Teale: Wounded Healers

15 years, 2 kids, and 3000+ couples… how did we do it??

The real story of Empathi begins with the children of two broken homes who grew up feeling so much abandonment, rejection, shame, and fear… that they'd given up on making love work long before they met.

Over and over, Teale and I recreated those experiences from our childhood in our relationships.

I remember walking on a beach in San Francisco with my mother and telling her, "I'm sorry. I am never going to make you a grandmother."

‍I felt so deeply not enough, and Teale was so convinced that she was too much, that a happy, fulfilling relationship seemed like a fairytale.

And then we met…

‍Sparks flew...

‍And… eventually, the negative cycle continued.

1. Teale would see me as uncaring, become disappointed in me and then criticize me…

2. Which would lead me to see her as mean, get frustrated with her, and then withdraw from her…

3. Leading her to see me as even more uncaring… and on and on this painful cycle of disconnection went.

We call this awful dance the "Waltz of Pain."

What we would come to realize through years of discovering what would become The Empathi Method, was that this Waltz of Pain is a part of every relationship.

This wasn't happening because I was broken, Teale was broken, or because we were with the wrong person…

We just didn't understand how both of us were participating in and maintaining painful disconnection and how to work as a team against it.
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Teale isn't too much. I am enough.

‍We are the ones we've been waiting for.

‍The Empathi Method is the only relationship support available that knows that.

Even though we had no role models to look up to as kids, we get to have the relationship of our dreams…

… We get to be the parents to our kids that we didn't have when we were little…

... And now I’m a decade into a beautiful, healthy, connected marriage, with two wonderful kids who get the dad they deserve.

But here's the thing. I'm greedy.

I want it for you, too.

Happiness is possible.
Take it from them…

I feel more hopeful now than I have in a really long time. — Lily
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This course is exceptional whether you want to take it alone or with your partner it provides a different perspective for looking at yourself and your relationship. [...] Thank you! — Ashley B.

My husband took the course with me and we were both surprised by the things we learned about each other (in a great way), especially when we mapped our waltz of pain! Thank you Figs! — Elizabeth

Thank you FIG! You have provided us not only the philosophy on human relationship, but also an actionable tool for us to nurture it. We're not doing it perfectly, but at least we are more and more aware of whether we are about to dance the "Waltz of Pain", and try to own our problems more. — Kylie

"I took the course after breaking off a long-term relationship to try to understand what went wrong. [...] Working through the course with Figs' relationship as an example gave me a MUCH better understanding of how we got so disconnected. I feel like I know myself (and strangely, my ex) better now and can move on with some clarity." — Jolene

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Cutting-Edge Methods

The Empathi Method is a combination of two of the most validated approaches in relationship psychology: Attachment Theory and Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy.

In published EFT research, 86% of couples show significant improvements in their relationship. And that's just the starting point—Figs and Teale continue to enhance the process to this day.

The Conflict Solution is a state-of-the-art process.

In this relationship masterclass, you will:
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Map your Waltz of Pain—the specific conflict dynamic you and your partner get stuck in

Unearth the hidden motivation behind your partner's actions

Access vulnerable, lovable parts in yourself previously buried

Turn moments of suffering into even deeper connection

Create a sustainable, repeatable healing process that will reliably replenish you for the rest of your life.

Simplified Process

In between careers, kids, social obligations, doctors appointments, side projects, and trying to have any kind of break from it all…

Working on your relationship can feel like an overwhelming task—let alone also getting your partner on board!

With the Conflict Solution course, we've made transforming your relationship easier than ever:

You can take it one chapter at a time…

This course is broken down into 16 modules and will remember where you left off—so you can pause and come back any time.

At home or on the go…

On your own or with your partner…

Take it on your own, together as a couple OR give your partner a separate copy to work through at their pace… with our buy one get one free bonus.

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Engaging Content

Driven by 16 short, compelling videos, impactful exercises, and music, podcasts, and clips that will entertain you as you transform…

You'll be hungry for the next chapter.

“I found myself looking forward to going on to the next video after each one, looking forward to doing the exercises, and eager to ask him questions and do follow up research.” — Evelyn H.

Here's how it works

16 instructional videos from Figs O'Sullivan, creator of The Empathi Method, most sought-out relationship expert to the Silicon Valley elite, and top-rated couples therapist in San Francisco.

The Conflict Solution Course Workbook—a printable companion for your transformation filled with tips, exercises, and resources.

The Empathi Discovery Quiz

Priority email support

Instructions to claim your FREE bonus copy to use as you see fit!

Then, as you make your way through the course, you'll learn even more about yourself with your Self-Discovery Report and Relationship Report, and stay on track with check-in emails.

By the end of the final lesson, you'll have fundamentally changed the way you understand your relationship.

Let's go!

"Okay, but can you really fix our relationship?"

Most couples we help feel, on some level, like something in their relationship or in themselves is beyond repair or is unacceptable.
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The overwhelming majority of the time? It's just not true.

Using the Empathi Method, you can actually…

Stop having the same argument(s) over and over again.

Recover from infidelity or another breach of trust.

Improve your relationship even though your partner seems unavailable.

Navigate sex life changes and differences.

Feel connected through stress and difficult times.

Become curious and excited about each other again.

And do so much more.

Note: This course is not appropriate guidance for relationships featuring violence or threats of violence.

All needs met — or your money back.

Here's the simple truth: We know how to make love and relationship actually work.

‍Not by just sucking it up even though you're suffering, not by constantly re-explaining your needs, not by changing who you're with…

We are in the business of real, genuine "all needs met for both of you" love.

So, if you complete the course within 28 days and it hasn’t changed your relationship dramatically?

We will refund your money, no questions asked.

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Yelp says Empathi's methods are 10x more effective

"We went into it hoping to get a few tools for communicating so that we'd stop getting into many hour long fights over the same topics, but came out with a level of closeness I honestly didn't ever expect that I could have with anyone."

Laurel B.

"I feel like I have my best friend back. I enjoy weekends now. We're a more cohesive parenting team."

Anni G.

“Actively investing in your relationship feels fundamentally GOOD. We are more loving, affectionate and communicative than ever before and find ourselves resolving the now occasional fight before it has a chance to grow teeth.

Tracy S.

"Now, we're in an *amazing* place. It feels a bit like the honeymoon phase, except more real and solid, with the tools to make it last."

David L.

"Figs changed my way of seeing people in general. I am able to be more compassionate to myself, and am able to see other people going through their own pain even when they're at their worst."

Laurel B.

"I actually have much more understanding and compassion at the workplace, with my friends, with strangers. [...] I come to work with a better attitude and I get more done because I'm secure in both my relationship with my partner (which was deeply affecting my work life) and my relationships with everyone else at the office."

Joshua R.

"Our disagreements are far less frequent, and when we have them, we are able to come to resolution more quickly. I have even noticed that we bring more vulnerability to our positive interactions, too."

Jesse P.

Most relationship advice makes things worse.

Change-focused relationship guidance doesn't work. If forcing each other or yourself to act differently helped, you'd already be happy.

But it's more than ineffectual… it is shaming, blaming, and reinforcing the very thoughts, feelings, and actions that got your relationship into trouble in the first place!

EFT—the only form of couples therapy that received the highest possible rating from the American Psychological Association (APA)—started to unravel the truth about relationships: we are already good enough for each other.

‍With the Empathi Method, Figs and Teale have gone even deeper…

Integrating other psychotherapeutic practices and creating new, innovative methods for sharing wisdom to generate better and faster happy outcomes for our clients.

‍Enter The Conflict Solution.

Just some of the lives changed by Empathi

"I don't think I'm exaggerating to say it was probably the best investment I've ever made." — David L.

“It’s the most developed, deeply touching philosophy I’ve ever experienced” — Joshua R.

“The real magic is that by exploring the negative cycles, you learn how to recognize them so you can stop them sooner and sooner. [...] And the best part? It works.” —Tracy S.

"I am so grateful to Figs for changing the way I see things and the way I handle conflict. Thank you Figs. (:" — Lisa H.

"Our relationship has blossomed, our home is a safer, more peaceful, supporting and loving environment. Our most painful relationship issues seem to have evaporated, and the road ahead looks better than ever, thanks to Figs!" — Tory A.

What would you do for the relationship of your dreams?

Let yourself imagine—just for a moment—actually getting the kind of connection you long for…

The kind that is so profoundly warm and comforting and accepting that it heals the places it touches.

Now let yourself feel how far away that is from your current relationship.

You've tried to get there on your own.

You've tried all the usual tactics.

Listening more. Managing your emotions. Setting boundaries. Waiting it out. Loving yourself first. Telling your partner what they can do differently. Figuring out what you could do differently…

Maybe you've just been meaning to do all that, if only you had the time or the energy…

It'd be easy to say you or your partner just need to try harder, but remember—spontaneous change isn't an option.

‍The truth is, what you're doing now just. isn't. working.

So, you invest time and money on… outdated advice?

Most "experts" reinforce the very perspective that is hurting you—that you or your partner need to become different people if you're going to be happy together.

Then, when you don't change, "Well, of course it didn't help, you didn't put in the work!"

So not only is your relationship failing because of who you are, now it's your fault their advice isn't working??

Forgive my french, but that is bullsh*t.

It's time to learn what is really happening in your relationship.

In a few minutes, you'll access all 16 chapters of research-backed relationship guidance.

By the end of the first lesson, you'll start to feel a little clearer.

Then, you'll start to understand exactly why each of you does what you do…

Opening up the chance for profound moments of vulnerability and closeness…

And fundamentally changing the way you experience your relationship, for the better.

Then, in the not-so-distant future, you will be able to shift the perspective on any issue your relationship has ‍for the rest of your lives.

‍And even though there will be ups and downs, fights, and temporary feelings of rejection or abandonment, you'll feel… safe with each other.

Even though we had no role models to look up to as kids, we get to have the relationship of our dreams…

The Conflict Solution is built differently.

With the Conflict Solution course, we've made transforming your relationship easier than ever:

You can take it one chapter at a time…

At home or on the go…

On your own or with your partner…

Here's how it works

Using the Empathi Method, you can actually…